August172012

mister-comedy:

on the first day of middle school the teacher made us sit with someone we didn’t know and talk with them and the kid i was paired up with said “i watched dr. oz yesterday and it said your penis should be the size of a dollar bill and mine is bigger so i feel accomplished” and i haven’t talked to him since

(via zackisontumblr)

8PM

The Night Before the 1st Day of School

  • Me: i'm going to dress cute, make friends, get all A's, do my home work, study, like my teachers, like my class mates, like my classes, do my work, talk less, be nice, and try.
  • *next day*
  • Me: Good morning shit heads. IDGAF what you think. i hate you, you, and you. Gifs are more exciting than school. Ew my teacher is annoying, stop talking. Why is that girl looking at me, why why why, oh its her. ew i had you in my last class, we arnt friends go away. i want to leave. im not doing this shit, wtf is this, math? ew is this history hw? ya, ok, fuck that shit. wait this is only the 1st day? fuck me.
8PM
  • In class: I actually get this!
  • Homework: What the heck
  • Quiz: What the heck
  • Test: What the heck
8PM

great3st:

remember when suite life had a hsm episode and no one thought maddie looked like sharpay

(via taco-l0ve)

8PM

lumineon:

Only $19.95 plus $1,678,757,865,730,278,980 shipping and handling.

(Source: ayaze, via erik-cook)

8PM

itsmykayladuhhhh:

sh4ne:

weryoungforever:

hihowsyourlife:

clairesawyer:

life becomes a little bit more beautiful once you realize that there is two people sharing a bowl of salsa in the logo

i was more excited when i found the arrow in fed ex

no, how about when I realized that the arrow in amazon was pointing from a to z (saying that they sell anything from a to z)

i like the google logo because it is colorful

OMG..never noticed tht….

(Source: vanillish, via meloncholicbliss)

8PM

biteythevillain:

biteythevillain:

what if ur bellybutton screamed when u covered it w/ a shirt cuz its scared of the dark

how fucking high was i last night

(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

8PM

offendpoppunk:

remember last summer when american eagle had that modelling contest where you submit your picture to get votes and if you get into the top 20 votes your picture is displayed at times square in new york

i submitted this photo of me about to sneeze

i placed 12th and i was on the times square billboard for two weeks

(Source: devotionii, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

8PM

i think instead of the woman taking her husband’s name when they get married or doing the hyphenated thing

couples should just smash their last names together

so like if a Smith married a Grabowski you could be Smabowski or Grabith or Grasmithski

and then as the generations go on the names just get more and more ridiculous

why aren’t we doing this

(Source: souschen, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

8PM

“my followers like me” i whisper as i walk to all my classes by myself

(Source: previouslygillany, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

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